Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
