that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You were trust falling into bushes
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
