I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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