A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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