Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
