There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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