Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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