atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
