Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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