i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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