Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
