If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize