it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
