At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know her cup size but not her name....
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
