Someone shit on the floor
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
