also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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