Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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