Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize