I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
