yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
