He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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