never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
