you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
