just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
as a side note pls kill me
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
