awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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