Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
