I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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