we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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