I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
