he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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