So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
not ubering you a puppy
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize