Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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