My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
