I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
