All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
