let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
this will be a night to untag.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
