he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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