I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
