I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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