Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
