im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i think i have two assholes
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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