So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
