I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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