She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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