so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize