Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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