I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
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