You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
