I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Randomize
