to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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