Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
