I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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