He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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