I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
