i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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