Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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