Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I met the friendliest cop last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
