fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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