I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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