Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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