apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
